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Or maybe you do.

By May 23, 2013 8 Comments

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First things first – a thank you. Thank you for the heartfelt, thoughtful birthday wishes. I couldn’t respond to each one individually, as there were hundreds, but I’ve been reading them over the past two weeks and have been so filled up by them. Thank you for taking the time to write, and for the love.

Okay, on to today’s post.

I’m fascinated by this recent New York Times article about women and money. And of course nothing about money is ever just about money – the research findings discussed there included.

There were a number of interesting little tidbits: Some evidence that the “women spend more than men” stereotype is false — a recent Gallup study found men spend more. Then there’s the news that Americans, male and female, struggle with basic financial calculations more than many of our international neighbors…

But the part I really want to tell you about was around women’s self-concepts. When women and men were given a short quiz that tested their financial literacy, men scored higher.

That doesn’t shock me. After all, many women feel like they are bad at financial stuff or can’t understand it – so they stop paying attention to it, reading about it, studying it. Like so many stereotypes, the one about women not being good at math can be a self-fulfilling one.

But here’s where things got interesting. When asked to assess their own financial literacy, men overestimated how knowledgeable they were (relative to their actual test performance), and women underestimated their level of competency. Oh, sigh.

Even more interesting? When the “I don’t know” option was removed from the multiple choice questions, women started getting more and more questions right, narrowing the gender gap in performance.

I’m writing all of this to remind you that one, you probably have more of a foothold of competence in the financial arena than you think you do. Time to stop playing bewildered and build from where you are, honey.

This post is also a little nudge to look for those places in your life and work when you are saying “I don’t know” when you have a hunch.

You see, I think women say “I don’t know” on these tests is because, in the moment, it feels true, and in some sense, it is true. We’re not sure. We don’t “know” for certain. And yet sitting it out – whether it’s taking a stab at answering a question on a test or one from your client or boss isn’t always the best path either. When “I don’t know” really means “I’m not 100% sure” or “I’m just having trouble trusting my best guess, my leaning, my real thoughts, my intuition” or “I’m nervous about getting it wrong,” maybe it’s a good idea to answer anyway.

Maybe you don’t know. But maybe, like the many women who took this test and checked the “I don’t know” box, if you had to choose an answer, you’d choose the right one.

Got it, my dear?

Before I sign off, one more thing: I’m holding LIVE one-day writing workshops this summer in San Francisco and New York! So excited. In person, small group, summer writing days. If you think you might want to attend one, sign up here to get details and updates.

Love to you,

Tara

Image: Certainty, by Georgiana Paraschiv

Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • I love this, Tara! Women seem to just prefer to say or think that they don’t know. It maybe gives them a feeling of less responsibility. But you are always responsible. Even when you say “I don’t know”, you’re still responsible.

    Whenever I ask clients a question and they say they don’t know, I ask them “if you did know, what would the answer be?” Asking the question in that make-believe state where the only option is knowing seems to release their blocks. It allows them to get in touch with what their intuition is really telling them – even if it is not what they really want to hear.

  • pat maloney says:

    happy birthday. love reading what you write. good info. thanks, pat

  • Gina Lee says:

    Tara, you are a Godsend. Thank you! Keep it up! It is time for us women to step up! Be loving AND strong. Be kind AND intelligent. Be patient AND courageous. To stand tall in beauty, grace, equality. To lead. This world needs us to be ALL that we really are. Your voice, Tara, is SO needed by us. Keep talking with us. Thank you.

  • Natalia says:

    I agree with Laura G. Selecting ‘I don’t know’ is an easy option and a cop out. I don’t it when I don’t want to think. When this option is not available, I put my thinking hat on and I figure it out. I’m often right. This study shows that we know the answers already, we just need to access them. Thanks so much Tara!

  • […] I have heard of findings that suggest that when a woman is asked if she will do a presentation, or teach something she’s knowledgable about or has some experience in (but that she’s not presented before) she more often then not will say, for example, ‘I’m not qualified in that, I don’t know enough about it yet, ask me when I’ve got my PHD’….whereas a man will generally say ‘Yes’, even when he’s not particularly knowledgable about the subject (although I’m sure that’s not true for all men and especially not for those reading this!). In a recent article in The New York Times ‘when asked to assess their own financial literacy, men overestimated how knowledgeable they were (relative to their actual test performance), and women underestimated their level of competency.’ http://www.taramohr.com/2013/05/or-maybe-you-do/ […]

  • I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s
    both equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt,
    you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue
    is an issue that too few men and women are speaking intelligently about.
    Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this during my hunt for something regarding this.

  • […] I first wrote about this, a couple years ago, the finding had shown up in a study about women and men’s financial […]

  • Clifford says:

    We have shared Or maybe you do. – Tara Sophia Mohr | Playing
    Big on all my social media profiles. Awesome writing.

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