Tara Sophia Mohr | Playing Big

Tara Sophia Mohr, Playing Big. Find Your VOICE, Your MISSION, and Your MESSAGE.

My New Project – You’re invited

Weekly Practice with Tara

Good morning everyone!

I’m back from maternity leave – still savoring precious time with my kids each day, but also happy to be using my professional brain a little more, getting back into creating with words, and generally reacquainting myself with the parts of Tara that faded into the background these past months.

Today I am thrilled to share with you about a new series that I want to invite you to join along with – it’s entirely free and it is fabulous.

I’m calling it Weekly Practice.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by this: we can make little internal shifts – thinking a new thought or asking ourselves a new question – that have huge results in transforming our moods, our sense of possibility, and the actions we take.

To me, this is one of the big secrets of life. It is the moment-to-moment inner things we do (not the big external things that happen to us) that bring us joy, clarity, and peace. And despite how impossible a situation or dilemma or heartbreak seems, there is an inner shift we can make that can transform – dramatically and immediately – a constricted or stuck inner state.

Starting next week, each Monday morning I’ll share a practice – a simple thing you can do that doesn’t take much time – that can help move you from worry to calm, frustration to gratitude, confusion to clarity, stress to joy.

Sometimes it will be a new question to ask yourself. Sometimes it will be a new lens through which to look at a situation. Sometimes it will be a simple action to take.

All of the practices will be easy to do in a mere moment and incredibly powerful in bringing more good into your life.

Then each week, we’ll go on an adventure together, using the practice in our lives, experimenting to see what happens, and reporting on the results. You can do that on your own, reading the new practice each week in your inbox (it will come to you as a subscriber of my blog), or you can also join our community in a private Facebook group for more discussion and to share your experiences.

Request to join the Weekly Practice with Tara Facebook group HERE, and stay tuned for our first practice next Monday!

Love,

Tara
 
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The Playing Big Course is Coming Soon!

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Good morning,

I’m thrilled to share with you that the next session of my Playing Big course is coming up!

This is my course for any woman who wants to play bigger in her life and work.

It’s for you if you know you have a message you want to share, a creation you want to bring forward, or a higher level of impact you want to make and … you know you’d really benefit from some support and structure to help you get there.

In this course, you’ll learn the skills and tools that have helped thousands of women play much bigger:

– how to determine what playing big looks like uniquely for you, in this particular season of your life

– how to move past the self-doubt and fear that comes up for all of us as we play bigger

– how to unhook from praise and criticism so you can do your best and most high-impact work

– how to reliably access your own inner wisdom and discern the right answers for yourself

– how to communicate with power and grace

– how to negotiate more comfortably and effectively (and recognizing that you are negotiating every day!)

– how to approach concerns of not being qualified, expert enough, or “ready” to do what you long to do

– and that all important one … how to play big while caring for others

and … much more.

This is an online and webinar-based training, so you can attend from anywhere in the world, and in a way that works with your schedule.

I am live with the group every week, so there is lots of time for discussion, Q&A and coaching. And, you will be able to download all the course materials so you have lifelong access.

The Playing Big model has been featured in venues ranging from The New York Times to The Today Show and has brought about powerful life and career changes for thousands of women around the world.
 

Get On The List!

Here’s what to do next: If you would like to know more details about the course and have access to our early bird discount, sign up here.

You’ll be added to our special list for course information, and next week, you’ll start receiving more information from me about what we’ll cover, and how to discern if it’s the right fit for you.

With love,

Tara
 
 
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Two ways to view your life

While I’m caring for my new baby, I’m sharing some favorite posts from the past few years. This is one of them – enjoy!   ~ Tara

Two Ways To View Your Life

You can listen to this post in audio, too. Click the player to download an mp3 file, or you can read below …
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What does it mean to live a good life?

A couple of years ago, Jonathan Fields posed that question to me. It’s the very last question he asks his guests on his Good Life Project podcast.

I’d forgotten entirely that he would be asking me that question and I hadn’t given any thought to what my answer would be. So in the moment he asked it, I had to stop and consider, “Hmm, what do I think makes ‘a good life’?”

When I repeated the question back to myself, I heard an answer, fully formed, right away.

But I didn’t want to say it. I knew that the words I’d just heard in my mind weren’t very palatable or understandable.

I wanted my answer to be something like, “A life of loving and being loved,” or “A life of serving others while being true to oneself” — a definition everyone could agree upon and relate to.

I considered giving one of those substitute replies, but of course, I did not.

I said what was in my head.

“A good life is a life in which your soul learns what it came here to learn.”

I know. It’s a bit opaque. It is disturbingly free of words like love or freedom or abundance or fulfillment or pleasure or connection. That’s what’s troubling about it, and what’s radical about it.

A good life is a life in which your soul learns what it came here to learn.

That is the deepest “good life” truth for me; that the real good life goes beyond the personality’s experience of ease and difficulty, wins and losses.

What I want to propose to you today is that there are two rooms in the house of your life, and in each of them a different play goes on.

In one room, there is the play of your ego. In this play there are things you hope for and want, and you celebrate when you get them or worry or complain or try harder when you don’t. There are events you deem positive and events you deem negative, often according to a rather narrow story of what’s supposed to happen, or our collective norms around what good and bad events of life are.

In the other room, it is as if a different set of characters are experiencing the same drama. They experience the same plot events of your life, but these entities experience it through the lens of the soul. In that room, it’s not about things being positive or negative. It’s not about wins or losses. It’s about the lessons being learned. It’s about the core questions being wrestled with. It’s about the polarities (self/other, order/chaos, active/receptive), being danced between, the balancing points between them being sought.

An example from my own life: When I learned that, for some unpredictable logistical reasons, my carefully crafted childcare plan for the coming months was not going to work out, I was upset. I had my vision of what was supposed to be. I had my plan, people! And of course I had my beliefs about why the plan, as it was, was very important for myself and my family.

From my ego’s perspective, I had a problem.

A few days into worrying and complaining and holding this as a problem, I asked myself, “What if I look at this from the soul perspective?”

The ego experience of worry and “I don’t like this!” didn’t go away, but I could see a second view of the situation: that this particular problem was really forcing me deeper into questions of my mother vs. writer identity, of self vs. other, of consistency vs. change – questions my soul was already grappling with and is clearly here to grapple with this lifetime.

Remarkably, when I considered each other person involved in the situation, I could see how for them too, it was providing a kind of intensive curriculum in just the core issues I already knew them to be grappling with in this lifetime.

And when I think of the greatest tragedy in my life – a painful, ongoing issue – from the ego perspective, I’m filled with frustration and pain. When I think about it from the soul perspective, I feel all that it is teaching me about compassion, acceptance and the costs of fear.

When we touch into the soul-room of the house and see the drama being played out there, the oddest thing happens.

We experience the difficult in our lives without the feelings of difficulty, even if just for a moment.

There is a gorgeous neutrality that the soul offers, instead of our comfort and discomfort.  That doesn’t make it all easy and smooth. The soul’s territory is one of wrestling, of layering and layering on experience to turn it into wisdom. That is gritty, rough, dense work.

But asking ourselves to see any situation from the soul’s perspective takes us out of the shallow story of life as a series of triumphs and misfortunes. It takes us into the richly dimensioned helix of experience, through which life teaches us the most important lessons our soul is here to learn.

You know you’ve tapped into the soul perspective when:

    •   you see the connection between the experience and the big questions you have been grappling with for long time
    •   you see the learning and growth purpose of the experience
    •   you feel some distance on the pain and pleasure the experience is bringing you
    •   you feel a sense of mystery, larger picture, and even the sense of being loved through the experience – even if it’s difficult

How to see the experience from the soul perspective? Start by asking the question, “What does this situation look like from the soul perspective?” or “What does this have to do with what my soul is here to learn?” See what comes.

Love,

Tara

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I see so many women getting stuck because of this…

While I’m caring for my new baby, I’m sharing some favorite posts from the past few years. This is one of them – enjoy!  ~ Tara

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Women Stuck

You can listen to this post in audio, too. Click the player to download an mp3 file, or you can read below …
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I see so many women getting stuck because of this: they are turning to their friends and family for feedback – on their ideas, their projects, their burgeoning dreams.

It’s natural. We’re thinking about something – a potential career change, a business idea, something we’d love to create. And next, some little voice in us wants to know: Is it a good idea? Am I crazy?

So we venture out and we talk to the people closest to us – our friends and family – about what we’re thinking. That part inside of us that wants the bolstering and affirmation says, “So what do you think?”

And then it’s tough because 1) a lot of the time they don’t get it, don’t like it, don’t think the idea is a good idea or 2) even if they do like it, have you noticed how their validation doesn’t really set you free to start taking action? It often leaves you wanting more emotional validation from others.

Here’s what I recommend: Do not go to your family and friends for feedback on whatever new idea/project/career move you are considering. What we get from friends and family is just too layered – full of their love for us, their desire for us to be safe, their own experiences, their own fears. (Are there exceptions to this? Yes, of course! But most of the time, making this shift does help us start moving forward towards our dreams.)

Let dear friends and family play that incredibly powerful role that family and friends can play – in loving you, in cheering you on, in being there to commiserate with you when it’s tough, to laugh about the crazy moments along the way. Go to friends and family for support – not for feedback.

For feedback on whether the career move is viable, whether the potential business has a market, whether that title for your book is as compelling as you think it is – all that kind of stuff – go to the people you want to influence and reach with your work. If the book is for young adult women, ask a few of them what they think of the title. If the potential business would serve busy working families, get their feedback on the concept. Ask recruiters or hiring managers in your desired field about how the career move you want to make could work.

Get feedback from the people you want to influence and serve – only they have the perspective to be able to give you accurate information on the feasibility of your idea.

This means, yes, you may have to do the sometimes difficult thing of asking explicitly for what you want from family and friends. For example – “I’m super excited about this new business idea! I’m going to test it out with potential customers, but what I really would so appreciate is some cheerleading along the way. I’ve never done something like this before and I’m kinda scared!”

This can be a little hard to do at first, but it’s so good to get in the habit of having that conversation with friends, spouses and family members – to tell each other what you are looking for when you bring a topic to them. It’s good for you to get in the habit of asking them, too: “What are you looking for from me right now – advice, my personal opinion, or cheering you on and emotional support?”

Go to family and friends for support. For feedback, go to the people you want to influence and serve through your work.

Love to you,

Tara

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Nurturing Creativity

While I’m caring for my new baby, I’m sharing some favorite posts from the past few years. This is one of them – enjoy!   ~ Tara

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You can listen to this post in audio, too. Click the player to download an mp3 file, or you can read below …

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There’s a book I read to my son almost everyday for a while – The Construction Crew.

Okay, let me be more honest: most days I read it to him at least five times. If he saw the book lying somewhere in the room, he was excited to read it, right that moment. And then to read it again.

My son has a lot of books about trucks, but this one has long been his favorite. It’s something about the art.

On the last page of the book is a short dedication from the illustrator, Carrie Eko-Burgess.

It says, “For my father, Charles Eko, who told me when I was little to quit tracing and start drawing.”

The first time I read that, in a 5:30 am up-with-the-little-one haze, my heart exploded a little.

“For my father, who told me when I was little to quit tracing and start drawing.” 

What a gift to receive that message from a parent.

What a gift we give when we remind someone that they are ready, and they are enough, to quit tracing, and start drawing.

Where in your life are you tracing, when really, something is within you that wants to draw?

And where are we as a society still tracing something – some older picture that is supposed to show us the right way to do things – when in fact, it’s time to draw something new?

Love to you,

Tara

A little postscript. When I wrote to Carrie to get her permission to use the book cover image in this post, she told me how vividly she can still remember the moment when her father said this to her. She told me movingly, that her dad is even pictured in the book, a member of the construction crew. And oddly enough, we also discovered that the very day she and I had been corresponding, she and my son had serendipitously crossed paths. Of all the places in the world, that day, they both were walking around the very same museum in San Francisco.

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