The Playing Big Curriculum

Introduction & What is Playing Big

In this module, we talk about how to redefine playing big from the inside out. You’ll have a new sense of what playing big means to you (not what it means to your friends, family, coworkers and so on) – a vision for playing big that doesn’t feel stressful, or like it leaves you in a tug of war between your aspirations and your responsibilities. This is a true playing big that works with your whole life.

You’ll also be able to see your particular playing big in a much broader context of a global movement at this moment in history. Understanding how your piece of the puzzle fits into the whole can powerfully increase your clarity and motivation about what you are doing.

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Quieting The Inner Critic

Imagine for a moment what you’d be doing if that voice of “I’m not ready yet,” or “I need to get another degree before I can do that,” or “I don’t really know what I’m talking about here,” or “I can do that after I lose five pounds” wasn’t present any more? Imagine what we would be doing if we all were able to quiet our inner critics?

I am passionate about women around the world getting an Inner Critic 101 training so that self-doubt is no longer such a strong force in our lives.

Through our Inner Critic module, you’ll come to understand the root cause of your inner critic (it’s not what you think!), gain awareness of the sneaky ways it’s present, and learn why the answer to it is not having more confidence. Most important, you’ll learn exactly what to do in the moment when self-doubt arises, to ensure that it doesn’t hold you back.

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Discovering Your Inner Mentor

We’ve all had those moments when, in a difficult situation, we simply knew, with every fiber of our being, what the right course of action was. What if you could access that kind of clarity more reliably?

This module gives us a powerful tool to consistently access the most authentic, wise, and calm part of ourselves: our inner mentors. You can consult her on professional matters (how would your inner mentor handle this client pitch?) and personal ones (how would she approach this difficult conversation with a friend?)

If you’ve already met your inner mentor through the Playing Big book exercise, your focus in this module will be on developing a stronger relationship with her and getting support around taking practical steps to become her more in your day-to-day life.

Getting Wise About Fear

With our powerful model for working with fear, you’ll be able to differentiate between the two kinds of fear that arise when we start playing bigger – knowing which kind of fear to welcome and utilize, and which kind to skillfully steer away from (and how to do that).

You’ll be able to take the stretch steps that scare you – whether it’s making that career change or publishing that piece of writing or starting the new line of business at your company. And instead of just knowing that there are some fears holding you back, you’ll understand what they are, how they function physiologically, and how to move past them toward your most important aspirations.

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Unhooking From Praise And Criticism

When we are crushed by criticism or dependent on praise, it’s almost impossible for us to innovate, share controversial ideas, or effect change. I’m proud that the Playing Big approach to changing women’s relationship to praise and criticism has been recognized widely by publications ranging from goop to Harvard Business Review to The New York Times. In this module, you’ll learn:

• how attachment to praise and avoidance of criticism is showing up in your life right now
• six factors – historical, cultural and physiological – that cause those who were socialized as women, in particular, to get hooked by praise and criticism
• what the research tell us about how gender impacts the kind of professional feedback women and other marginalized individuals receive receive
• a set of practical tools you can use day to day, so that you can incorporate feedback strategically – but not go on an emotional roller coaster with it.

This is the end of being seriously wounded by tough feedback and the end of avoiding situations that might bring it.

Discerning & Pursuing Our Callings

In this particular collective moment, many of us are experiencing new callings, the ending of prior callings, or the return of persistent callings we’ve long ignored. This is one of my favorite modules to teach, because we have so many misunderstandings around the concept of callings. And yet, with some simple ideas and tools, we can start experiencing the huge joy and fulfillment that our true callings bring us.

If you aren’t sure what your callings are, this module will give you a very specific way to figure that out, with coaching from me to help if you get stuck. If you feel like you already know what your current callings are, this module will provide you with tools to fulfill them in even more satisfying and bold ways.

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The End Of Hiding

Getting one more degree. Putting off an important career step because it seems like a few other steps need to happen first. Launching a big project gathering others’ voices or perspectives on an important topic.

These are just a few of the things brilliant people – particularly women and others socialized to stay small – do that look just fine from the outside, but are often hiding strategies. What if instead of hiding in these ways, you knew how to take rapid action to move your dreams into reality?

In this module, you’ll discover some of the unconscious ways you are hiding and understand how to start stepping forward instead including:

Leaping: Developing & Testing New Ideas

Most women I know hold some false assumptions like these: that the more they prepare for something important, the better that something will go. That the more polished their work is, the more favorably it will be received. The thing is, many of these assumptions are misleading, and are connected to how women and girls are conditioned to act – in ways that don’t serve us.

In this module, we’ll take a rigorous look at our default good-girl, good-student ways of working and discover a bolder, quicker, more experimental way of working called leaping. Leaping gets us playing much bigger right away.

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Navigating Negotiations And Difficult Conversations

Do you dread negotiation conversations, feel like you aren’t a great negotiator, or simply know you could be a much better one?

In this module, I share a powerful framework that can help you love and thrive in negotiations and difficult conversations. (It really is possible.) A negotiation is not just the kind of conversation that happens once a year over your salary, or your rent. In Playing Big, we explore negotiations as any conversation in which the parties have differing goals and interests. Negotiation is a skill we all need for our careers – and lives – every day, but because of stereotypes and cultural norms, negotiating is tricky territory for women. You’ll learn a positive, collaborative, step-by-step framework for negotiations and have the opportunity to apply it to an important situation in your life, with coaching and support from me and from our guest expert on women & negotiation. Every year our graduates share negotiation success stories – revised job roles, compensation packages, divisions of labor at home – as a result of what they learned.

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Communicating With Power

In this module, you’ll learn how you can come across as more competent, compelling and confident in your written and spoken communications. You’ll learn about important new research on gender and communication in the workplace, and what it means for you. We cover what speech and writing habits to let go of, and what new language you can use instead. I’ll also support you in a day-by-day habit change process, so that your communication is truly more powerful by the time this module comes to a close.

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Let It Be Easy

We’ve all been there: we tried to accomplish something simply out of willpower and self-discipline, failed to do so, and then ended up disappointed in ourselves.

This module is about alternatives to self-discipline. I’ll take you through setting up a “success architecture” of supports and routines that allows you to achieve any goal in a sustainable, kind-to-yourself-way.

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Playing Big Collectively

In any society that disempowers some of its members, those disempowered individuals often unconsciously come to harm one another – out of their own wounds and unmet needs. In our context, this means that often women fail to support one another – particularly in situations where power, resources, and social acceptance are at stake. In everyday terms, this translates into painful relationships or major woundings in family, friendships, and professional relationships among women, as well as among other members of marginalized groups.

Yet none of us can play big alone, and our playing big remains partial if it does not include powerfully supporting other women or others who share our identity.

In this module, we will explore our own limitations to supporting others, and work through old woundings in this area. We’ll also explore how women can advocate for each other across differences in identity as well as the obstacles and biases that often prevent us from doing so. We’ll look at how the legacy of patriarchy manifests in our professional relationships with one another, and how we can let go of its influence.

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Concluding Session

In our Concluding Session, we look at the big concepts and weave major ideas from the course together. We also look forward – and I’ll support you in a process to identify your goals and priorities for the next phase of your playing big journey. We also have lots of fun celebrating our journey together!

After we finish, you get access to great bonus content on Getting Your Message Out, Playing Big While Caregiving, and Girls’ Playing Big.

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After the formal close of the course, your journey doesn’t end. You’ll continue to receive a number of resources to support you:

• A link to all the course materials saved in one easy-to-access location that is yours forever.
• Ongoing membership in our private Playing Big online discussion group and global community.
• You’ll also receive additional resources from Tara on these topics: