Something happened recently that knocked the wind out of me a little.
Someone tagged me in a post they’d written online. The post was about how she now spent her daily commute talking with “Tara Mohr” and getting Tara’s response and guidance to the things that were challenging her. She consulted with Tara along with two other teacher/authors she admired, tailoring who she talked to depending on the nature of the challenge she was grappling with.
The thing was, I didn’t know the person who had written the post, and I hadn’t ever spoken with her.
She had programmed an AI agent to play the role of Tara Mohr, based on my writing and talks.
I had a few reactions, all at once:
A sense of whiplash about how fast things are changing.
A sense of worry that someone… some entity (?) that was advising in my name would surely say some things that I would never agree with.
A sense of bewilderment around what we’re thinking about how replaceable or replicable a person could be.
There are now AI “personas,” so-called “digital twins” of some authors that the author themselves helped create, endorses, and promotes. (You can probably guess: I am not going there! At least not for now.)
I have deep respect for emerging technologies, and a sense of curiosity about what their highest and best use might be, what their role could be in our evolving collective story. And I have a strong desire to see AI, and all technologies, being governed by diverse and wise voices, and used only for the flourishing of all Life – difficult as that goal may be to achieve.
But for my work, and the learning we do here, I value – cherish, really – what the dialogue with an LLM can’t bring. The unexpected moment when it feels right to insert some humor into an otherwise serious coaching conversation, and when we can have a chuckle together. The cases that don’t quite feel like they fit the “rule” and I make a spontaneous decision to do something new or different. Remarkable, stunning, uplifted moments often follow – not because we followed the pattern, but because we departed from it.
I also value the information I get – and that a coachee gets – from body language, presence, eye contact, and our ability to sense the energetic quality of what’s in the space.
So, while I can only wonder what that trained-to-be-like-Tara agent is saying and what I’d say differently, I am so glad I can write and speak with you directly here, and in our course community.
AI only layered on top of what was already a whole lot of change for us to adapt to:
- Political and civic norms being upended.
- Environmental crisis that collectively, we have never undergone before.
- Sweeping backlash around women’s advancement and diversity and inclusion.
- The aftereffects of a life-altering, community-altering pandemic.
- The reality of 24:7 connectivity, information, and stimulation via our devices.
For me, it sometimes feels like in these times, the ground is hard to find, or like the map itself is twisting.
Whether you are finding AI mostly exhilarating or mostly troubling, perhaps you too are experiencing what so many women in our community are: the intensity and rockiness of rapid change.
In such a time, what is reliable? What is sustaining? How do we root in those things, so we can be like a tree – still growing, vital, not static, but steady? Not knocked over by the winds of change?
Here is what I believe we can keep turning to, again and again:
Human connection. Sure, not with all humans all the time (in this moment we are all too overwhelmed and exhausted or annoyed to get excited about the idea of human connection with everyone, it seems). But with the people or gatherings or communities or ways of connecting that are truly resourcing for us? That’s a big yes.
Circles. Faces. Shared chuckles. Potlucks. Rites of passage. A dance class or a soccer game. Walks together. And communities of learning.
The intentional inner life. No matter what is going on out there in the world, the gifts of inner work are there for us. When we take ten minutes to journal our feelings, or write out our answer to a great self-coaching question, or share what we’re feeling and probe what’s underneath it, the treasures of that inner work will meet us. Little liberations. Big liberations. Shifts in perspective. Gorgeous openings of thought and energy that we didn’t see coming. And if we help others do their inner work – coaching, mentoring, otherwise supporting – the gifts and joys of witnessing their processes are also reliably there for us.
Hearty Work. Yes, work can be drudgery, or a form of oppression, and there is nothing good about valorizing such work. Indeed, we all have to fight against the forces that make work that way – for anyone.
But when conditions are healthy and humane, I believe that we are, as my colleague Adina Allen says, “created to create.” We have a deep impulse to take an idea from non-existence into form, or from its current existence into a larger, more flourishing one.
I often remember anthropologist James Suzman’s beautiful take on the nature of work, which draws on the formal, physics definition: work is simply “transforming one form of energy into another.” I think of work this way – a gardener transferring the energy of the muscles in their arm, into the shovel, then into the dirt. A teacher transferring the energy of their knowledge into words, then into a current of energy or a question in a student’s mind. Our cells, transferring the energy of food into material that nourishes the body. Suzman points out something stunning: all living things – you, me, an animal, a cell – do this work of transferring energy from one form to another.
Whether or not our professional fields are experiencing dizzying change right now, we can seek out those endeavors – whether creative, volunteer, vocational, or relational – that give us the sense of: I made or improved something. I exerted myself, and I felt satisfaction, not just in the result but in the process.
How does all of this relate to the Playing Big Course & the Playing Big Facilitators Training journey that are starting soon, and that I’d like to invite you to join me for?
In the courses, we are staying with what is and will continue to be sustaining over the long-term. Hearty work. The intentional inner life. Human connection.
In the courses, we aren’t just asking our own questions; we are hearing the questions others ask. We are witnessing others being coached, or being coached ourselves. We are practicing new ways of being. We are gathering, being part of a learning community, with all the sustenance that brings.
I’m now in my 17th year of teaching these courses! And, I’m honored and moved by what thousands of you have shared: they have changed your life for the better, and helped you change other lives for the better too.
Love,
Tara
Top Photo Credit: Annie Spratt
