This summer as I’m taking some downtime, I’m sharing some of my favorite and your favorite posts from the archives. Hope you enjoy these selections!

Love, Tara

Darling, We Went For It

My old career was lovely and interesting, but I was in it because I was being more loyal to my fears than to my dreams.

(I know. Ouch. It felt like an ouch when I first said those words to myself, too.)

Whenever I am telling this story and I say, “I was being more loyal to my fears than to my dreams,” people perk up. They interrupt me and repeat the phrase, turning over each word. Or they write it down. Or they gasp and drop their pens. There’s some kind of “oh sh*t” moment.

Apparently I’m not the only one who lived this way: more loyal to my fears than to my dreams.

After some years of living that way, I started hearing whispers. They said, “Remember those dreams for your childhood? The dreams about what you’d accomplish and what your life would be like?”

Then they said, “Umm, Tara? This is it. This is your adult life. Are you going to go for it or not?”

Was I going to go for it or not?

Good question.

I had no idea how to get there – back to creative writing, to a creative career, to living a life that reflected me. The path seemed totally unclear, and at the same time, like an impossible hike uphill.

But one night, instead of the usual, dizzying, mental loop of overwhelm, fear, and arguing-with myself, a new thought showed up. It sounded like this, “Can you at least commit to being on your own side here? Can you just take the step to say back to your tenderest heart, Okay honey, I’ll be on your side. I can’t promise you results, but I will try to get what you want.”

I had not been on the side of my own dreams. I had been on the other side, arguing with my dreams, convincing myself they weren’t real or weren’t realistic.

That night, I stepped back across the line, to being on my own side.

I didn’t get perfect. A million times since then, and still everyday now, I fall short of being my own friend and advocate. I shrink the dreams down. I get so caught up in fear I can’t even remember what they are.

And yet, something shifted that night. I agreed to let the dreams-soul-longings-desires lead, instead of the fear.

I shifted because I really got it: the soul’s longings, it’s destiny, will keep fighting for fulfillment. It will not give up. And pushing aside it’s voice will only get harder. So really, the shift was a surrender. The safe and convenient choices were surrendered to the hungers of the soul.

It is a sacred ritual, stepping back, across the line, to be on the same side as our dreams. Instead of being divided against yourself, together the strong, calloused by the world, bad-ass you, and your tender, vulnerable, dreaming heart face the critics, the challenges, the obstacles.

It is a pivotal moment of saying, “Yes, honey, yes, we are going for this. I’ve got your back.”

It is giving a spacious home to the inner whispers, never again cutting them off, out of your own fear.

It is trying, just trying, to go for your heart’s desires.

We make the move to have a shot at joy. We make the move because our souls ask us to. We make the move because it is too painful not to.

We make the move because at the end of it all, we want to be able to say, to that most alive and longing and hungry part of us: Darling, we went for it.

Join the discussion 18 Comments

  • Janet says:

    I am going for it; thanks for your inspiration over a year ago!


  • LA Brown says:

    Many, many, MANY thanks for sharing this!

  • Josie says:

    I needed this!
    I have had this project idea in my head for YEARS now. As time goes by I keep rationalizing why it would be a waste to take action…it’s unrealistic, who is going to believe in it, it’s too big of a project, I don’t have enough contacts/experience/knowledge..blah blah blah.
    Today the idea came back randomly. Then I get an email with some links to organizations with similar missions (I decide to researched one a week so I know how they do what I do).
    Then..I get your email!!
    Too many signs in one day!

  • pat says:

    wow! sounds so familiar.
    going for it!!!!! thamk you

  • Laura Boling says:

    Oof. I LOVE this. Just what I needed to hear today. I’m in this same cycle of fears/dreams/fears/dreams… fighting the same tension. To think of it as “surrender” feels infinitely hopeful and authentic and RIGHT. Thanks for the inspiration!

  • Jessica says:

    I LOVE receiving your posts but I have never commented before. However, this post grabbed me on such a deep level that I was moved to tell you how much I needed to read this write now. Obviously your focus here was aimed on going for a career and life’s work that speaks to your soul and I am absolutely about trying to make those exact changes in my own life right now. But, this message and how I received it in my heart and soul connected with me on a much more personal level and subject. It was one of those “aha” moments when I read about stepping across the line to be on your own side. And, for me this represents stepping over to my “soul” self, to becoming whole and joy filled and steppign away from addiction and depression and fear and anxiety; from feelings of not being worthy of the joy that is my birth right. Your post made me feel alive and renewed and hope-filled. So, thank you thank you thank you. I will carry this with me for many days to come. You have made a positive impact on my day and I am forever grateful!!

  • It takes courage and awareness to go for what you want and being on your own side presents a perspective that I had never considered. Why would we constantly struggle with the part of us that has the important desires and goals. How unproductive and ultimately self defeating. I have to get on my own side!!

  • Lynne says:

    Thank you Tara, this is just another post that helps guide me to my life purpose.
    I love the concept of being on my own side and its true I am extremely loyal to my fears rather than my dreams..what an odd thing to do eh. I will give it a go and be on My side for a change thanks for the refocus

  • Kim says:

    Thank you so much…. I’m going for it now, after years of not going for it. I’m a little concerned now that going for it in the way that I want to may mean living behind my spouse. Would love to hear thoughts about this….

  • Katherine says:

    Thank you for this!! My heart sang earlier this month as I embarked on fulfilling my dreams and promises to my heart…yippee!! And Universe is helping me right along… and I wouldn’t want it any other way!!!! xoxo

  • Lindsay says:

    Thank you! I am about to go for it. I’m scared as shit but I can’t ignore my inner voice anymore. You are inspiring and make me feel a little stronger inside, so thank you.

  • Sonja says:

    Hi Tara, thank you so much for the inspiration. You definitely have a way to speak to my soul. I have been listening but I have also been turning away, saying:”In a year I’ll do it, just need to earn a steady paycheck for a while longer.” This week I got home from work and knew I had to resign. I am spending 8 hours of my energy on a paycheck and I would be way better off spending it on my soul longings.
    Thank you, thank you, you are an inspiration. You have reminded me again that I should be my own best friend, that I should be on MY side.

  • Amee says:

    Amazing post Tara, had tears in my eyes when reading the last part, as I can feel that deep, longing part of me, saying, yes, yes, yes. This is from the heart and I really resonate with that. I felt inspired to write a poem.

    Information – July 23, 2013

    Finding information
    The right way
    The right source
    What would you do to find that?

    What if it means breaking societal norms?
    Doing the taboos
    Are they your taboos?
    Who are you doing it for?

    What if breaking the taboo means finding the truth?
    What is there waiting to be rediscovered?
    Then is it still a taboo?

    The grey path
    Some dark and some light
    Some old and some bright
    And the courage to do so

    Where many others have not
    Nor can they understand beyond their field
    Refusing to see
    It’s too scary

    Valuable information
    Moments cannot be replaced
    Just be careful of your own attachments
    Go into it with an open heart
    And understand your attachments to certain outcomes

    Drivers and navigators
    See your role
    Live it
    That is your function
    In this situation

    At the end of it all
    We did it together
    Explored the deepest parts
    And it was so worth it

    This journey with you
    My best friend
    My most trusted and loving advisor
    The part of me that is the constant light
    Shining and guiding through the dark

    The pack that I’ve made
    With you
    To always be with you
    No matter what

    We went for it
    Gave it our all
    Held hands and did it!

    And I look at you
    You look back at me
    It is I
    It is you
    I am me

  • Sabrina says:

    Truly a Devinely inspired post. You bring us back to a place that feels so natural but we resist and few encourage us in. Thank you for being a conduit for Spirit in my life to hear life giving words I need.

  • rachel lee says:

    this is absolutely Divine.

    my heart leapt when i heard these words. i am gasping too strongly on my own fears and not being loyal to Life.

  • Maryanne in SC says:

    “Can you at least commit to being on your own side here?” —
    THOSE WORDS HIT HOME, Tara. I’m at my desk at work, and I’m trying not to cry.
    “Can you at least commit to being on your own side here?” — that’s the question, and such a simple one. Can I? Well, as it turns out, YES…I CAN, and I will.

    By this time next year (hear me, Universe) I will be where I want to be, doing what I have waited to do/wanted to do, near the people I love to be with.

  • Maria says:

    Ouch – yes, for me too. You make this concept so easy to relate to, like being a good parent to my inner child. I am thinking I will carry a photo of me as a child to help remind me to be true to my dreams and aspirations. And it clarifies what is important for me to be doing as parents to my own children. Courage and love are called for, but let me at least try (and try again…):)

  • Sarah Hart says:

    […] the wonderful Tara Mohr, if you haven’t read Tara’s blog you can read her full post on committing to be on your own side here. I subscribe to Tara’s weekly words, she has a special poetic way of speaking the […]

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