Why Your Inner Critic Speaks Up When You Least Expect It

By August 28, 2012 8 Comments

In my work helping women play big, we give some serious attention to the topic of the inner critic.


Because I have yet to meet a brilliant women who isn’t underestimating herself because of her inner critic.

The inner critic tells us lies we find very believable.

One of my big dreams is that one day — SOON — all women and girls will get basic inner critic training: what it is, how to recognize your own, and what to do so it doesn’t hold you back.

Knowing those basics was suddenly and hugely transformational in my own life. I’ve seen this information change the lives and careers of the women in my programs as well.

I share those Inner Critic 101’s as much as I can. I’ve made a few videos on the topic and I’ll be sharing them in the coming weeks. This first one is about what the inner critic really is and the surprising reasons why your inner critic speaks up when you least expect it.

WATCH the 3 minute video below.



Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Christine B. says:

    It’s interesting that you referred to your inner critic as “he”. My inner critic’s voice is that of my late mother. I can ignore the voice, but even after many years it is still there.

  • Cynthia says:

    This, for me, is groundbreaking advice…realizing that the inner critic is just trying to keep me safe gives me the power to manage that nagging little voice looking over my shoulder. I feel as if, OK, now I get it! It’s like parents (at least mine): It’s not that they didn’t want you to pursue your dreams; it’s just that they wanted you to follow a safe, secure path in life. Thank you for this Tara.

  • Hi Tara,

    Just wanted to drop in and say how much I’m enjoying your videos. I appreciate your style very much.

    I’m in the midst of learning the things I need to know to pursue what I’ve realized is my dream. It’s good to hear you emphasize that it’s okay that I don’t know everything I need to know yet and that the fear that keeps popping up is NORMAL. 🙂

  • Dawna says:

    My inner critic acted up SO MUCH that I wrote a play just for her: LIFE AS A POMEGRANATE. It’s about one woman’s life and how she struggles to make her dreams happen despite the dreaded inner critic, her S.O.B., or Sticky Outy Bit. Thanks Tara….you keep us growing and growing!My play opens October 6 in NYC…so inner critics really do come in useful.

  • Anne says:

    I don’t necessarily know if the inner critic means well.
    If it says things like, ”you’re ugly”, that hardly sounds like a protection mechanism. Perhaps it’s more the voices of negative people in childhood/early life/adolescence that are being displayed. I DO believe in busting it though. 🙂

  • Becky Bigelow says:

    How do we differentiate between our inner critic and our intuitive voice that protects us from harmful situations? The guy in the elevator that we sense we shouldn’t ride to the next floor with? The stranger who wants to help us carry our groceries? Our daughters attend universities in large, metropolitan cities. We’ve discussed with them to listen to that little voice when they sense fear. How do we differentiate “the inner voices?” Is the inner critic only when we want to improve ourselves, reach for our dreams professionally? Intuition vs. Inner Critic? Is the inner critic ever spot on?! How do we know?

  • Tara says:

    Hi Becky, hope you saw today’s post on this very topic!

  • […] She brilliantly describes the Inner Bully as “the security guard at the edge of your comfort zone” […]

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