Lately I have been craving more beauty in my home environment — beauty of a different kind than is in my home now. I have been longing for more green (of the leafy sort), softer textures, more organic sensibilities.
That’s not all that surprising, but what has been surprising to me is how hard it has been for me to be okay with that wanting.
Beauty is really important to me. That’s the truth. I’m sensitive to it, to where it’s missing.
I’m starting to realize that, deep down, I have not been comfortable with my own great love of beauty. I tend to see it as “light,” a little frivolous, not the important stuff. I see it as the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. As if it’s extra — after the core stuff is taken care of, we can worry about making it beautiful. After all, so many people are living without the basics of food and shelter— how can the rest of us be worrying about, investing in — the beauty of our daily lives?
Another part of me knows: that narrative about the frivolity of beauty is not true. Another part of me knows: beauty is important. It is important because beauty connects us to joy, to contentment, to our souls. Beauty is soul food. This is not a fluffy matter.
These past few days I was travelling for work, speaking at a United Way women’s fundraising event in Oregon. I got very lucky, because the organizers of the event didn’t put me up at some random business express chain hotel, but at a 100-year old historic inn in the beautiful town of Ashland. I stayed in an adorable, floral, Victorian suite full of antiques and beautiful things. A handwritten Shakespeare quote was left on my pillow every evening.
Beauty.
It is absolutely the case that because of the environment, I was able to slip quickly into a contented solitude that I know I would not have been able to find so immediately and easily, had I been in a different environment. Because of the open, airy, peaceful space, I had more creative thoughts. Because of the serenity of the atmosphere — from the colors to the patterns to the music playing, I was able to slow down and recharge with ease.
Most of the environments we are in daily don’t do this for us. They actually assault our senses, clutter our thinking, and disconnect us from the sweet song within. Gray concrete highways dotted with unattractive billboards are not worthy of what we sacred human beings are. Airport cacophonies; ugly, cold hospitals; littered streets are not worthy of what we are.
Beauty has been marginalized in our culture because it has become associated with the feminine. This wasn’t always the case. In earlier periods, beauty was strongly associated with masculinity, and, no surprise, during those times, beauty was seen as a necessity in our architecture and city planning, and art was more valued in the culture. Just think about how, as a society today, we value a publication like Newsweek, and how we value one like House Beautiful. That is a subjective system of value — and it is not the only possible one. Think about what’s considered important for kids to learn about in school, and what isn’t. Beauty is largely absent from the picture. That’s not the only way possible.
Even as I have created a beautiful home, adorned myself in things I find beautiful, and supported the work of artists I enjoy, I can see that I have also stopped myself short from embracing beauty at a level that fully reflects it’s importance to my spirit.
That is because in some small, quiet way, I have been embarrassed about how important beauty is to me. I’ve held some belief that there is something selfish and frivolous in that love. I am surprised by this truth: it feels as scary, as radical, to own my love of beauty and to act based on it, as it has been to claim my voice as a writer and step into the name “poet.” Both are a vulnerable claiming of who I really am.
I would like to find comfort with my love of beauty, my belief that it is essential, because my hunger to live in beauty is core to who I am.
Love,
Tara
Loving Beauty
Darling Tara, you ALWAYS say what I so desperately need to hear. What a beautiful gift you are. I can’t believe I’ve been so blessed to have found you and, as an aside, I’m so looking forward to your class beginning next week.
Thinking a lot about this topic, especially as I was caught in the rain with shoes that were so beyond repair, a river surrounded my toes.
If I don’t treat myself beautifully why would I expect anyone to treat me that way? As I unravel the myths I have lived my life by, I’m both saddened by how I have lived and hopeful for a more beautiful future.
I have contemplated these themes as well. I know it is possible to make every action one of beauty if we are consciously creating with such an intention, a beautiful cup of tea, sparkling counter tops, crisply folded laundry…I know these are the opportunities to consciously create small tributes to beauty in every moment that I often overlook. As a mother of two young daughters who are becoming increasingly aware of the imbalances in the world, I am feeling that much more committed to being the model for them of one who seeks, creates, and honors the beauty in my world all around me…these are all courageous acts of change. 😉
There’s nothing frivolous about beauty as it is a language of spirit. Our souls intuitively recognize the importance of beauty and how it feeds our cores.
The embarrassment of valuing beauty has been a part of my whole life when I reflect back. I love the idea of valuing myself by embracing beauty everywhere, and everywhere I want it to be. Thanks for sharing.
This was such perfect timing for me today. I’ve been struggling with the same issue – feeling frivolous and shallow for wanting to surround myself with beauty at both work and home. Thank you for calling attention to this mindset so I can recognize it for what it is.
Tara, you have put into words exactly what I have been struggling with lately. As a young woman and mother, I try to give voice to all of my interests equally but I shy away from sharing my excitement over glossy magazines and beautiful clothes and homes and the way people live and express their style. Conversations such as these can seem so trivial with what is going on in the world today, into the mouths of our children, and the financial crisis that our government is in. I also shy away from conversations about spirit, strength and faith. These two particular two sides of me seem so far from each other that I worry if I spoke of them in the same conversation I would appear flaky and disconnected. But I am who I am, all sides, all “contradictions”, all the desires of my heart. You’ve encouraged me to embrace my whole self and share my light with the world. Thank you.
Tara,
So beautiful and so true. Beauty does stir our souls. Have recently re-encountered it and have to say , it does change us. Flowers for my room, a candle and old fashioned lantern, bright colours, dress and design,have entered my life and it does make one shift to a happy place. I started as just an urge but slowly I realized that life, this earth, nature is so beautiful, beautiful in excess and to perfection. So should we be too. Neat, simple, exuberant – Beauty
I love how beautifully you write about beauty. I hear you regarding beauty in your home environment. I’m there too.
I keep coming back to wanting to redecorate my apartment to make it more visually calm and relaxing. Because I crave calm beauty.
And yet, it always comes second (or last). I always prioritize to spend my time and money or traveling, visiting friends, books, creative activities. All of which are important to me. But beauty is important too.
Thank you for gently making me realize what I need to do.
Oh, I can relate. There was a time when I stripped out anything I didn’t think my legitimately ‘valuable’ from my life, defining value in a very narrow, career-centric way. It leads to lots of de-cluttering and journalling which was great, but I berated myself for the occasional browse of the fashion blogs or pinterest.
Now, I try to see the world more holistically and appreciate the impact my environment has on my life & career.
Lovely piece, with an honest core.
C
This really resonated with me. I too value beauty, but like you, in a natural and peaceful sense. As a culture, we say it’s wrong to do that, but at the same time we celebrate it with our fashions, art, design, etc… Beautiful objects are art–and a reflection of the beauty in our world. As Mary Poppins said, “A think of beauty is a joy forever!”
Hi, Tara, Your post really strikes a chord with me, too. Your example of Newsweek vs House Beautiful illustrates the point, well, beautifully. Somehow in our culture, it seems feeding the mind has become more valued than feeding the soul. And, beauty nourishes the soul. Our response to beauty, physically and emotionally, is almost instant. I recently redecorated my office – with a vision to create a beautiful space, not only a business one. And, every single person who has come to my office since, heaves a big sigh, and talks about how beautiful the space is. It seems beauty calms and centres us, brings us back to ourselves. What a gift is that to give and to receive.
how refreshing to have my feelings and hunger for beauty validated and so well articulated in this post. Hugely appreciative. m
These posts resonate with me, not only as a career woman who has a creative side that I need to be deployed strategically in a sector and profession which plays by rules defined for centuries by a male view of economics, social priorities and labour patterns, but also as a critic of the endless pointless consumption in western society.
With established economics increasingly being questioned, individuals in search of different lifestyles exhausted by the endless demand for increased productivity, and a rediscovered need for society and connection, I do sense that there is a shift on the horizon. I have been stunned by how many of my male colleagues are hungrily embracing the liberating, nurturing effects of concepts of beauty and aesthetics, just as much as female concepts.
Revaluing beauty is surely not just the preserve of women. Leading by example though we should demonstrate the wider benefits of factoring beauty back into modern culture whilst simultaneously contributing to redefining that culture. No small challenge, but the type that will benefit from the intangible, organic creativity that fuels the appreciation and creation of beauty.
Revaluing beauty is surely not just the preserve of women. Leading by example though we should demonstrate the wider benefits of factoring beauty back into modern culture whilst simultaneously contributing to redefining that culture.
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