Leaning in or leaning out. Opting in or opting out.
Something has been missing from our collective conversation about women’s careers.
It’s the foundational step upon which everything else depends.
It’s the step in which a woman courageously sets aside what mom, dad, Aunt Sue, her boss, her thesis advisor, and the lady down the street think of as success. It’s the step when a woman asks herself what she really wants.
It’s the step when even if she hears “I don’t know!” she doesn’t turn away from the question, but listens to the whispers and follows the clues to find the answer.
It’s the step when she defines her dream for her life.
I don’t care if she plays big on the world’s terms. I want her to play big in going for that dream.
The answer might be, “I want to leave corporate life and become a therapist. It might be, “I want to close my therapy practice and work for a business.” It might be, “I want to take the kids on a year-long adventure abroad.” It might be, “I want to mentor a young person who really needs support.” It might be, “I want to take the crumpled pages out of the file drawer, and this year, write that book.”
True playing big can be defined only from the inside out. It might look like something the world recognizes as “playing big” or it might look like something other people would mistake as playing small. What defines playing big is not prestige, title, salary or even size of impact. It’s about going for your real dreams.
In a world where definitions of success were developed without women at the (conference) table, it’s no surprise that a woman’s playing big will not always align with those traditional images.
I’ve worked with women for whom playing big is getting the promotion, and I’ve worked with women for whom playing big is turning down the promotion, to pursue the work that means the most to them instead. I’ve worked with women for whom playing big means becoming financially independent, and I’ve worked with women for whom the most radical playing big choice is not – for once in their careers – being driven by financial factors.
What’s fascinating is that the core process, the steps taken, are the same for these women. It’s always about learning which voice inside to listen to, how to sustain motivation and clarity, and how to take quick, experimental action that gets us moving forward.
So here is a question I invite you to think about today: if we define playing big this way, as courageously going for your dreams, what might playing big mean for you? What dream hasn’t been attended to or respected so much by you and could use some love?
In what area of your life would you love to play bigger?
The Playing Big book is available for preorder now. Learn more about the book HERE. When you preorder the book, you’ll get all kinds of bonus goodies from me: videos to support your playing bigger and access to live Q&A calls where you can ask your questions and learn from other women’s stories.
Click here to order at Amazon.com,
here to order at Barnes & Noble.com,
here for Powell’s,
here for Books A Million,
or here for Indiebound.
Then email your receipt to pbpreorders@taramohr.com to get your bonuses!
Love,
Tara
You are rocking it, Tara! Your posts have been right on and so motivating! Keep it going — I can’t wait to share your book when it’s in my hands!
Tara,
This makes so much sense, and totally resonates with me.
Thank you,
Steph
Tara, as always you are right on the mark! I define playing BIG as playing to one’s heartbeat and intuition. The power of women to heal and bring COOPERATIVE solutions rather than competitive solutions to the boardroom should not be underestimated. Case in point; 5 yrs. ago I began researching emergency response issues around a nuclear meltdown. Not having any idea of where to find solutions but simply trusting my instincts that this was something I should pursue. This year we partnered with a company who developed a sustainable solvent to absorb radiation in water and soil. Anything is possible when women trust and value who we are and our ability to bring positive change to our planet. The world desperately needs women to step out and play BIG. Keep up the GREAT work Tara. You are an inspiration to us all.
A little note to Tara and women;Oh this dream building is burning bright and the stars are lining up just right to usher this new beginning in. Setting up the dream_writing,reaching others in the Love’..They say’build it and they will come..build it anyways..the wealth will follow..it’s like waking and you know somethings missing..because you haven’t launched your dream. I set up my playing field yesterday..pictures for visual mindset..comfort areas to sit for concentration and a 3 month goal time set…let’s see what I can accomplish. You know it’s all about the writing..
Oh, so good. Thank you, Tara. You write that when a woman asks herself what she really wants, she must listen to the whispers – I have found that to be true. To my surprise, my inner voice never speaks loudly, as if it has something important to say, and I had better pay attention. It doesn’t try to sound like a voice of authority. It’s very polite, and quiet. Too quiet, sometimes, I’m afraid. But also patient. Waiting for me to listen attentively.
Absolutely correct Tara… what looks like Playing Big to me was to simplify my business, moving back to my 200 sq. ft. studio from 2500 sq.ft. and letting employees go. I have met people who talked to me in such a way about my move that I thought they might surely hand me a sympathy card. I was brave, I followed my heart, I let go of what I knew people would think and I have never been happier. Playing Big for me is nurturing myself, my business and opening up more space to paint, create, enjoy my life and create some more… It was “A Letter from Your Calling” & your Playing Big course that propelled me forward in so many ways. Best of luck with your new book, I am patiently waiting for it to arrive.
Tara, so right on! A question: I would like to preorder 2 books as gifts, one for my daughter who just graduated from college in May and one for my new daughter in-law who just graduated from grad school in June. How do they get the bonuses if it is on my Amazon receipt? Thank you!
[…] surprising because Tara has a well-established career and online presence. Her recent blog post, It’s time for a new conversation about women’s careers had me at hello. I’m looking forward to sorting through her old posts and getting to know her […]