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On Fearlessness

By May 20, 2015 16 Comments

Today I want to talk with you about the idea – the ideal, really – of fearlessness.

Is fearlessness possible? And if it’s not possible, should we at least strive to be more fearless in our lives or work?

Right now, in my field, lots of people use the term: Fearless Living, Fearless You, Your Fearless Year, and so on.

Like many of my colleagues, I’ve felt uncomfortable with these titles, because I believe fear is part of us, and a part of life. I’ve always thought the goal shouldn’t be fearlessness, but rather, skillfully responding to fear when it arises.

But then something happened to me that made me think about fearlessness quite differently.

I was offered an amazing creative and professional opportunity, something I’d always dreamed of. It was high stakes, highly visible–the kind of thing you’d think would have evoked fears of failing, or screwing it up somehow.

When I got the email about it, I was stunned, but I was not at all afraid. When I was planning for the first phone call about it, I was not at all afraid. As each stage of the process proceeded, I kept looking for the normal fears of failure or of making a mistake that I would have expected to be there, but not finding them. I had a happy hum in my heart about the whole thing, and a kind of thrilled excitement, but no fear.

I was honestly surprised by that, especially because over the past several months I’ve felt nervous and insecure about much less significant professional opportunities.

Why was this one different, I wondered.

I realized: with this opportunity, I felt a deep sense of home, of “this is just where I’m meant to be.” This opportunity was truly aligned with where my soul wanted to go and who she felt she already was. I knew I had nothing to prove.

I also felt this opportunity so sacred enough to my soul, so important to my personal journey, that I wanted to approach it with total authenticity and joy – none of the toxic calculating that fear might lead me into.

And that got me thinking about this: what if fearlessness is important not as a goal to work toward, but as an indicator of what your soul longs for?

Fearlessness is not something to achieve. It’s something to pay attention to, when we are graced by it.

 

Fearlessness

 

It’s not about the ideal of fearlessness; it’s about seeing what your moments of fearlessness reveal about where your soul feels most at home.

I felt so good walking into this major opportunity without any fear or inner critic narratives, that my mind naturally started thinking, “Should everything in my work feel like this? Should I only take opportunities that feel like “home” in this way, that give me that blissed-out sense of rightness?”

I don’t know, but I do know this paradoxical truth: that amazing experience of fearlessness came because of many things I’ve done when I felt afraid.

I often felt afraid to send my book out into the world. I’ve felt afraid so many times to do this or that speaking event, to publish my work in that widely-read publication – but moving forward in spite of fear with did contribute – it seems – to this graced experience of fearlessness.

There is some mysterious way in which doing things that we are afraid of is part of the journey to the places that allow us to be free of fear.

Maybe it’s this: that there are lots of steps on the way to home that require us to change, to risk, to be exposed – and so they evoke fear.  But home itself is different. When we touch home, we touch fearlessness.

My invitation to you is this: not to try to achieve fearlessness, but to notice when you receive the visitation of it – especially in the moments when you’d expect to feel fear.

Pay attention to what brings it. What relationships, kinds of work, creative pursuits, environments, bring you into contact with that gorgeous state of fearlessness? And what does it tell you about the direction your soul longs to go?

Click to tweet: Fearlessness isn’t something to strive for. It’s a visitation to pay attention to, when it comes.

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Love,

Tara

 

Join the discussion 16 Comments

  • Deb Hanni says:

    Hello Tara-
    I was part of one of your mini weekend playing big retreats a few years ago now. I think of you and your work often. I am in the midst of an enormous life transition as I just turned 50. It seems the idea was barely fully formed before all these things started MOVING big time, almost taking on a life of its own. I feel I am on my way through a transformative period … and at times I am afraid …. shaky afraid … and yet I keep moving through it, even when others wonder aloud how I can ‘do it all’ …. thank you for this post this morning as I sit here with my coffee, 10 minutes before a conference call, feeling the emptiness of a house I’m about to leave …. for what I’m calling a mid-life summer retreat … at large. This post brought tears to my eyes, good tears, as I look toward soulful home and the journey of possibilities before me. THANK YOU darling! Love from Oakland Deb

  • Judy says:

    Amazingl insight and the timing of your publishing this, spot on!!
    I thank God for his perfect timing and your authenticity!

  • Thanks a lot for this very clear message, based on your own experience! It’s soooo clear, and very helpfull!!

  • Erika Edelson says:

    I love this insight, Tara. Thank you for crystallizing a concept that I know will help me on my journey!

  • Joan says:

    You described my career- right on the money! I was afraid to leave my teaching and counseling jobs, afraid to leave my corporate job, afraid to write a column–then afraid to syndicate it, afraid to write a book, afraid to start a TV spot, afraid to start a consulting/coaching company—people ask how I got so fearless–you answered it!

  • Thea says:

    Love love love this Tara-thank you. I so relate-I used to be so nervous stepping on the stage to act and am surprised now when it’s not there. I often just feel excited (I just played a nun in Sister Act the musical so that’s particularly fun). Nice to know that fear and fearlessness are both valuable (the fear can lead to the fearlessness) and not always explanable. As ever, I love your beautiful honesty and generousity of heart.

  • Anne says:

    When I am in tune with myself and grounded I am able to act as I know I can and should – without hesitation. I would love to be able to call upon this strength at will!

  • Tamara Owen says:

    Tara, this is brilliant and I love your quote on Fearlessness! When I am aligned to my soul’s purpose and desire I feel excitement and unabashed drive.

  • Ariana Browning says:

    This is a wonderful post. Shared on Facebook. I feel this way being an author. There are moments of fear, but overall there is such a sense of “rightness” that is far more prevalent.

  • Brigitte says:

    This is exactly where I am right now in my career, so the timing of your article couldn’t be more perfect for me. Thank you for articulating this so clearly and helping me make sense of my feelings.

  • Genevieve says:

    What an excellent insight,Tara. After so many years of unsuccessfully seeking to rid myself of fear of most things – I simply abandoned the effort since I’d usually found the courage to, “do it anyway”. The Playing Big course helped me discern the different types of fear, and thereby reframe much of it. So this, offers a delicious new perspective to consider, and I thank you for sharing it!

  • Judith Voet says:

    Dear Tara,
    Thank you for this lovely read from a fan in the Netherlands! It toughed my deeply and I reckognized it, except in work I look for that feeling of fearlessness. But more than ever I will know when I find it, also thanks to you!

    How can I share it on LinkedIn?

  • Vijaya says:

    Tara for some reason I kept reading FEAR instead Of FEEARLESSNESS … It works that way too. When you observe your moments of fear and Learn what is causing it, it loses its grip on you. And you feel FEARLESS.

  • Karen Bongiorno says:

    Hi Tara, you always seem to put into words, ideas that make sense in my life because they express thoughts or feelings within me that haven’t quite reached articulation. Your voice provides clarity. Thank you.

  • Judith – So glad to hear this resonated! You can share via LinkedIn by posting an update and including the URL (http://www.taramohr.com/2015/05/on-fearlessness/). If you need additional assistance, feel free to email our team (taramohr (at) taramohr (dot) com).

  • […] “And that got me thinking about this: what if fearlessness is important not as a goal to work toward, but as an indicator of what your soul longs for? Fearlessness is not something to achieve. It’s something to pay attention to, when we are graced by it.” On Fearlessness – Tara Sophia Mohr […]

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