over at goop & Harvard Business Review

By October 2, 2015 3 Comments

Good morning!

I’m in New York this week – one of my favorite places in the world. It’s always so good to be here, especially in the Fall, and especially this time around when I get to show it to a toddler who is very excited about all the action here.

I wanted to share with you…

This new article over at goop on How to Negotiate, written by myself and attorney, negotiation expert & Playing Big guest teacher Carrie Gallant. We share our personal stories – how we each have completely abandoned ourselves in negotiation situations in the past – and how we (thank goodness!) are learning to stop doing that. And we share our perspectives on all kinds of questions that come up for women around negotiating.

I believe we all negotiate in one way or another, every day. I also believe that for women especially, each negotiation conversation ends up being a definitively disempowering experience or a healing and empowering one. Each negotiation will either teach us a negative lesson about our needs and life’s ability to meet them, or a positive lesson about that. So let’s create the right story for ourselves. You can check out that article here.

The second article I want to share with you I’m also so excited about. It’s a piece I wrote for Harvard Business Review, about how to respond to the self-doubt or inner critic voice when you encounter it in others. This is relevant, of course, for coaches and therapists, but also for any of us who manage, teach, or mentor – because we all come up against the voice of self-doubt in the people we aim to support. It’s one of the biggest barriers to our teams performing at their best, to our mentees reaching their potential. And of course, we all also want to respond wisely, and constructively when we hear the harsh self-criticisms or insecurities in our partners, children, and other loved ones. We often think the answer is to encourage or compliment in response – but there’s a more powerful, helpful way to respond. Check out that article here.

With gratitude,


Join the discussion 3 Comments

  • Tere Insley says:

    Thank you Tara.
    I will be more confident in negotiations now.

  • Anna says:

    Love your HBR article Tara. I am familiar with the inner critic, the importance of being aware of it and learning to quiet it, but this has only ever been about managing it in myself. I’ve actually never thought to share this with work colleagues! Why wouldn’t you???!!!

    I also love your choice of words re your “growing edge”. Never heard it put this way before, but it describes it well. A phrase I will remember.

  • Marie Jane says:

    Tara, It is always very inspiring to read your articles and i always try to share what I learn from you. I hope someday I will be able to afford to come to one of your seminars.

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