On the book tour, I met a woman named Lisa. After twenty years doing something that she felt was “just a job,” she’d just taken a few months off from working, hoping to find her passion and figure out what kind of work she really wanted to do.
At the end of the four months, she didn’t have answers. She had even more problems, including the loss of much of her savings which she’d spent down during that time, more confusion about her next steps, and now also feelings of regret and failure about her time off.
(A side note: this is what has happened to everyone I know who has taken time off to “figure out” what they want to do next, including myself. No one ever figures it out during downtime. Instead, we get more confused, overwhelmed, and isolated. We end up spending way too much time in pajamas, and with reality tv and almond butter. I’ve come to believe we don’t really ever need full days to sit around and “figure out” our next big career steps. We need more courage to be honest with ourselves, a little time for reflection and research (but as the side dish, not the main course), support to take action, and lots of opportunities to experiment and learn by doing.)
So back to Lisa. Lisa was feeling really frustrated and asked me, “how can I figure out my life purpose?”
My answer, my conviction, is this: we all have the same life purpose. We have it by dint of being born on to earth. Our purpose is to create more love and light on this planet that is a dense and tangled mix of light and dark, love and fear. Our purpose is repair what is broken, to heal what is wounded here. Our purpose is to make this place a little more worthy of the souls that inhabit it. There are as many ways to do that as there are moments, and we don’t have to find our one big way, or our right way, before we start living that purpose.
We can each live that purpose in whatever job we are doing today, whatever circumstances we are in today.
I’ve written about this idea before here. But today I want to delve into one aspect of it, one I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: how that purpose is our shortcut to joy.
Watching my son play these past few months (he’s nine months old now) has pretty much debunked for me the contemporary California-y spiritual notion that we should be able to be perfectly content in the stillness, in the emptiness, just witnessing our breath.
I watch him – always reaching for the next object, in love with novelty and stimulation of all forms. I watch him work intently on challenges that he devises – how to get the shoe in the basket, how to clank the two cups together, how to pull the lid off the container. In him, I see so clearly how much we are wired to problem-solve, to work with purpose, with a goal. When he falls into focus intently working on one of those problems and silently does so – with none of the squeals or screeches that come with boredom for him, I see in him the part of all of us that is so content when we are absorbed in a puzzle, a project, a problem.
What I want to suggest to you today is that there is one grand puzzle that we are all here to solve, and that is always available for our devotion. And when we become devoted to it, we have found our shortcut to joy.
It is the problem of how to light a candle in the darkness. It is the problem of how to let kindness flow forth where harshness is present. It is the problem of how to let love rule. It is the challenge of being a ray of light in the world, discovering what that means in its every application.
When you make that your purpose, you have all the clarity and contented absorpbtion and rich inner life that comes with purpose. And you have your shortcut to joy.
Give it a try today, and let me know how it goes.
Click to tweet: There is one grand puzzle we are all here to solve, and it is our shortcut to joy.
Love,
Tara
“ “Don’t try to change the world before you read this book! In Playing Big Tara Mohr offers you the keys to unlocking your gifts, your potential and your power to make a difference. I guarantee that you will find yourself and your dreams somewhere in this book and when you do Tara’s deep insights, her practical action steps and her real life stories will set you free.” – Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, author, My Grandfather’s Blessings and Kitchen Table Wisdom
Today — which is World Kindness Day — I stepped “out” of my shell and posted/published my first article.
I’ve been reading your materials for over a year now and have found great support and encouragement in your words.
Thanks Tara!
One another observation about a child’s joyful absorption–they are completely free of self concepts.
Wow. I cannot explain 1. how much I loved this and 2. how much I needed to hear it.
Having had so much of my psyche and sensibility formed by that California-y notion you speak of, with some pretty heavy reinforcement from quite a lot of yoga, I sometimes feel like I’m constantly fighting the feeling that I should just be happy…just being. But that’s not the place unless it’s earned: My happy place always comes from working hard, even struggling, then recognizing the joy afterward before starting the process over again or with something else. And I love that you used your baby at the teacher in this, because how obvious it all becomes then.
Thank you!
I actually spoke with you on a phone conference call about 4 years ago about this topic…how fun to see it surface yet again. Thank you for clearly expressing what I feel everyday…There is a time for stillness and a time for action…but what is most important is to bring the joy…bring the joy to all of it.
I think it is a combination of stillness and passion that brings us joy.. not one without the other. I also have found out that it is not just “one big thing” I will discover in having time off, but just many small steps a long the way… and the journey keeps changing. It’s not what we do, but HOW we do it..
Thank you Tara for continuing to share the wisdom that comes to you in the midst of every day life. Your writing is so clear , attuned, and needed!
As I read this post today, I wonder if perhaps there could ever be a universal recipe for the “way” to listen for and discover what is calling you. For some of us, it happens in the midst of activity, and for others (and I am one!) it does take a literal physical time out. I’m not sure it has as much to do with the way we do it, versus the quality of attention we bring to whatever is revealed in this reorientation of our relationship with ourselves and the world. Like babies who bring 100% of their attention to what is happening, perhaps the invitation is to begin to look and listen in new ways, to be fully present, whether in full forward motion, or in a pause from activity. And in that state of noticing, which you Tara model so well, we begin to follow the breadcrumbs back to this deep knowing that Love is our purpose, that we are all connected, and that we are all (sometimes skillfully and sometimes not so skillfully) finding our way Home.
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Thank you. It’s simple and true, and in living this, everything (even momentary stress) falls into place.
Thank you Tara for another inspiring post. As you say, the best place to start to bring more love, light and joy into our world is exactly where we are. In fact it’s the only place ever. “Let us cultivate our garden.” ― Voltaire
this is such a gorgeous article, Tara. just lovely. xoxo
Such a poignant article. Thank you!
This is inspired and inspiring. Really beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for continuously creating light with your thoughtful words.
I bow.
As others have reminded you above, Tara, there is much to be gained through an interweaving of meditative mindfulness and active mindfulness! Now an old lady fairly well versed in both pathways, and in combining them fruitfully, I can promise there is no need to diss the quiet one in order to defend the OTHER form of attention. We are breathing through both, after all, and it is the JOY that flows through both and fuses somewhere in my core that deepens the meaning of daily being for me. May you find this to be so for you and for your child as well … so lovely!
I LOVED this beautifully written piece of spiritual truth and I really needed it right now. Thank you, Tara.
Tara, this was just a reminder to me of how great we are at overcomplicating. Our purpose is so simple. As one of my other favorite teachers Anodea Judith says, “It’s not the meaning of life we seek, but our aliveness. Once we have that, the meaning of life is obvious.” Couldn’t wait anymore to order your book even though I have 10 stacked on my bedside table. Need more of this in my life right now. Thank you for your work.
TARA – I actually print out and read in the evening all your blogs. You have no idea how they help me in so many ways. With love